Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Noah's Arse

We all know the story of Noah's ark, when God singled out Noah for the job of saving all life on Earth. Hard to imagine a more daunting task, but nonetheless Noah got the job done without a hitch. Well, this is one of two events in Noah's life that God deemed worthy of being recorded in the history book of the universe for all future generations to contemplate. The second event was, to be frank, regrettable, and one has to wonder why God decided to embarrass Noah by including it. Here's what happened:

Some time after the Flood, Noah was enjoying a well-earned glass of wine that he'd fermented from his own personal vinyard. It's not certain just how much he drank, but it must have been a hot evening because he ended up falling asleep in his tent stark bollock naked. Unfortunately, one of his three sons, Ham, discovered his dad in this state and went and informed his brothers, Shem and Japheth, who came back with a blanket and covered Noah while he slept. The next morning, presumably a little hungover, Noah saw the blanket and put two and two together. Feeling embarassed and probably more than a little grumpy, he called on God to... curse and enslave Ham's son, Canaan, who wasn't even involved. Ham's opinion of this harsh punishment isn't known.

So it would be great if any Christians who read this post could suggest why Noah acted like this, or even why this event was deemed worthy of entry in The Holy Bible. And if you think I'm just making this all up, go read Genesis 9:18-27.


G said...

I'm not really sure but I think it was a way to justify the existence of the black race after the flood...

it's interesting, that was just being discused in this video I found on youtube last night (no it's not spam and I'm not a bot)

(and no, it's not my video...)

Raiko said...

It's hard to find an analogy for something done by an ass that gives a completely sad fate to an innocent, dependent creature and makes no sense whatsoever.

All I could come up with is this:

It is snowy winter and you pee on your son while he is sleeping. The next day you force your son to completely shave his dog and keep it in the garden because your son smelled like your piss.

Anonymous said...

Contact the entire world and wake everybody up. The United States had an increase of 13 Million people from 2004 to 2009. That's only 5 years. In 25 years that will be 65 Million people. In 50 years that will be 130 Million people. In 100 years that will be 260 Million people. In 500 years that will be 1.3 Billion people. Add that to the 300 Million people we already have and you come up with 1.6 Billion people in the United States by the year 2509. There are 195 countries listed in the world. In 1915 the world's population was 1.8 Billion people. In 2009 the world's population is 6.8 Billion people. So in the past 94 years the world's population has increased by 5 Billion people. In 500 years that will be 25 Billion people. Add that to the 6.8Billion people we already have and you come up with 31.8 Billion people in the world by the year 2509. If there is poverty, starvation, global warming and a hole in the ozone layer now, what do you think it will be like in 500years? Your generations will have to resort to cannibalism in order to survive. There won't be enough food to feed everyone. Save your generations from suffering a miserable and horrible end. Stop creating and if you have children tell them when they grow up not to create. I am 100% sure your generations will appreciate not being left behind to suffer that situation. Help spread this message to the entire world.

Anonymous said...

you're just misinterpretating the bible. How could you fully understand GOD's word when you have satan as a father?

Anonymous said...

satan as a father? Im sure he meant something completely different. Probably just read it wrong.

Hades said...

Yes I am his Father. Howdy, son?

Sheesh, cretinists and their silly arguments.

Orgaya said...

I've never understood this concept. If the Bible is never meant to be taken literally, then why on earth do all the religious people take the one line about marriage so damn literally? That's always their primary excuse for not allowing gay people to do what they do.

S A said...

Bible is changed, the one we have is not the original. The original Torah is lost today, Gospels we have today are distorted, they are not the exact word of God.
Prophets, men of God, cannot be sinful. God chose them as examples for humankind, because they were truthful and sinless people. The stories about David, Solomon, Noah, Lot in the Bible we have today are not from the original Bible. These stories are just big, dirty lies. The Bible we have today is not Holy. This book is very different then the books revealed to Jesus, Moses and David (peace and blessings be upon them).
The last book, the Holy Quran, which is revealed to Muhammad, the brother of Jesus and Moses, just a servant and messenger of God, tells us the clear and clean stories of our righteous, sinless leaders, Adam, Noah, Moses, David, Jesus, prophets of God (peace and blessings be upon them all).

The Quran is different than the other books, God protected it, there is only one version, in Arabic, did not change for 1400 years. You can take Quran literally! No problem, no mistakes, no fallacies, no contradictions, approved by science and history day by day! It is itself the perfect proof, the perfect miracle! It is the word of God.

The religion was always the same, people forgot it again and again, God sent messengers again and again.
There is only one religion, religion of Adam, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Moses, David, Jacob, Joseph, Jesus... It was always the same, worshiping the only God, the One and the Only, who has no partners, who is unique. The God of all prophets. This is the only religion. The religion of "Submission" (in Arabic "ISLAM")

more info:

Anonymous said...

This event was recorded to show that God's people are not perfect and even they slip up. It is an example to show that everyone - even people such as Noah who saved all life on Earth - can make mistakes (getting drunk naked). It gives hope to Christians, knowing that even though we make mistakes, God can still choose us to do great things for Him.

The cursing of Ham is because of Ham's 'informing' of his brothers. There was no reason why Ham couldn't have covered his dad with a blanket himself without needing to go and tell his brothers to come have a look (and possibly a laugh). The disrespect that Ham showed to his dad was what warranted the curse.

The reason why Ham's son Canaan was cursed was to show that the consequences of Ham's sin (just like any person's sin) always affects more than the sinner themselves.

I hope this gives a bit more of an understanding into the passage and why it's included in the Bible.